ShowMaker: "Last year, the joy of playing games wasn't very strong; it felt more like an obligation."
The Korean media released an interview with DK's mid laner, ShowMaker, discussing the previous year's competition status and his professional attitude transformation.
Q: You seemed to have mentioned in an interview before about the hardships. Why was it so tough?
ShowMaker: Reflecting on many things, last year had several difficulties due to various factors, leading to substantial pressure. I initially considered ending everything right after my contract expired, but now I don't have that mindset. I've been thinking, 'I have to persist until the end.'
Q: It's heard that ShowMaker will continue to stay in LCK, possibly with DK, which is heartening. However, with the pressures faced last year, fans might be concerned if this year will be similar?
ShowMaker: Yes, there's always a lot of pressure every year, but now it feels like it won't be as bad as before. I have some solid thoughts, so my goal for next year is to be more cheerful and enjoyable.
Q: Before starting the interview, we discussed ShowMaker's perspective or mindset changes when watching games. Could you share more about those feelings?
ShowMaker: Previously, to a certain extent, when things didn't go well, I would be extremely harsh on myself, blaming myself a lot. I felt I was overly harsh on myself before, so now my goal is, "Of course, chase championships, but also prioritize my happiness." I want the remainder of my professional career to be happier. When retiring, I want to have no regrets, be proud in front of everyone, and have had a fulfilling and successful career. Being too focused on results can be disheartening. In League of Legends, if you're not first, almost everyone considers it a failure. Especially in our team, which was once a championship-winning team, there's added pressure. But now, with my experienced gained, I shouldn't solely focus on my performance. Because I believe my position shouldn't only be about "doing my part," I should also focus more on others, especially with the addition of the newcomer Lucid, making me the oldest player in the team. Although I have peers of the same age, I still aim to lead the team as best as I can.
Q: You mentioned self-blame earlier. How did it feel? What made you think it might have a negative impact?
ShowMaker: Firstly, I wasn't quite satisfied with my personal state, but what truly troubled me was that when I wasn't in good shape before, I'd recognize it and push myself harder in training or with a revengeful attitude, supporting myself. But when facing difficulties now, I don't think, "Ah, I must work extremely hard and take revenge on them all," but instead, "Ah, it's too tough; I feel like taking a break." So, last year was a bit difficult. The joy of playing the game wasn't as strong; it felt more like an obligation.
Q: This could lead to self-blame. Thoughts like "Previously, I would have been enthusiastic" were similar to this?
ShowMaker: Yes, and that made me quite dissatisfied.
Q: Do you think you've lost your initial motivation now?
ShowMaker: I had thoughts like "Am I unworthy as a professional player?" At that time, I truly felt like I had lost my initial motivation. But later, I gradually organized my thoughts, regained my confidence. After experiencing that process, even if I have similar thoughts next year or thoughts like "Ah, I seem to have played poorly," I can get rid of them more quickly and ask myself, "How can I do better?" I hope to communicate more with teammates, seek help; that's my goal. People are not easily changed, so one must face it properly.
Q: In my interviews with veterans like Jankos or recently retired players like Doublelift, who just turned 30, I asked if their thinking had changed as they aged. This actually varies from person to person. Each professional player's enthusiasm differs, as do their ways of expressing it and sources of motivation. I can't say what's right or wrong, but this theme intrigued me, so I asked many veterans. They often mentioned "What's the aging curve?" or "Passion has limits." They said, "Indeed, when we were young, driven solely by passion, we could play for 12 hours every day. But as we age, life's scope gradually widens, which changes things. But how to reset this scope, how to strive within it, determines long-term achievement."
When you decided to renew your contract, you mentioned a bit of a 'want to give back to fans' sentiment. I'd like to know, specifically, what thoughts and factors led to your decision to renew? You mentioned considering overseas, but ultimately, if staying, probably with DK. Could you explain in detail how you considered this?
ShowMaker: Initially, when I became a professional player, I wanted to succeed early and retire early.
Q: Really? But you've achieved success.
ShowMaker: Yes, but in the process, I found this job really interesting. Also, because many fans supported me, I felt the need to be polite to them. Regardless of my performance, I wanted my career to last longer and show myself more to the fans. So, my thoughts changed, and I wanted to play for as long as possible. Why did I have such thoughts before? It might have been when I was a rookie, I saw an interview where Rookie, although I don't remember it distinctly, was asked about retirement. Rookie said if he felt he was a burden to the team, he would immediately retire. At that time, being young, after seeing that interview, I thought, "Wow, that's so crazy, I want to be like him." If I became a bit mediocre... No, now I think, "If I feel like becoming a burden to the team, I should retire." That's always been my thinking. So, after last year ended, I had considered retiring.
